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As you know I made a new journal and added you all to it. If I forgot anyone please let me know. One person was left off my new friend's only journal. So why the new journal and why is it friend's only? I will further explain now.
Unlike the Josh situation where we didn't care for contact ever again I know that my ex best friend will want to talk to me someday and she will want to know how I am doing. I don't want her knowing how I am doing as punishment for how she hurt me. She is no longer in my life. If I ever get married she is not going to be the maid of honor like promised so many years ago and she will not even be invited or notified. If I ever have children she will never see them and not be a part of their lives. Harsh? Probably so but I have been hurt too much by Jessica and I just don't have much sanity left to be hurt again. So what you may ask happed? It all started a week ago at a concert.
Kevin was announing Once Over last Saturday and got us free tickets to see the show and the cool new break in his career. So in support of him we attended the concert up in Ann Arbor Michigan. Jess had planned to have a date with her(Nate my old crummy co-worker) Had Nate came things might be different now. I will never know.
Kevin invited his friend Matt(whom he's known for many years) along and Matt took a liking to Jessica right away. At first Jess was like "Who is this creep hitting on me?" Then she decided it would be fun to get him to desire her so that she did. And after the concert was over she found herself desiring him as well and before we went home tey parted with many kisses. I was very happy she'd met a guy that was ok(so I thought) because any friend of Kevin's is a friend of mine. But then things started getting weird.
Tuesday I called her up to see how she was doing and she said Matt and her could come over to watch a movie. Well, I don't have a TV so I said Matt would have to supply the enetertainment which Matt said wouldn't be a problem. He brought his TV over and a retro Molly Ringwold movie over and we began to watch it. 15 minutes into the movie Matt declared he did not feel well and would have to take Jessica home and go home himself. He got up very quickly and left like the devil himself was upon him. He left so freakin quick I stood in my drive way waving for them to come back because he'd left a bag behind with his videos and some papers in them.
Jessica has seemed mad that he left early and we had arranged that I'd call her later that evening. I did but she wasn't home and her grandpa flipped out on me that she wasn't at my house and was alone with this guy he'd never met. So I called Kevin to get Matt's phone number. Now keep this important note in mind. I called Matt from my cellphone so he didn't at the time know my house phone at all! Matt picked up the phone and said Jess was busy but he could giver her a message. I told him she was in trouble at home. I asked why I couldn't speak with her and he got all weird on me and hung up.
Concerned I called Kevin. Kevin called Matt and once again Matt wouldn't let Jess talk on the phone. Matt told Kevin that Jess was in a deep and very important conversation with him.
On wed night while I was at work I was very bummed out and not feeling well and needed to talk to Jess so I called her. Her grandpa answered the phone.
"Jess phones for you!!!!!!!!!! No I will not lie and tell her your not here get the phone!"(I overheard this in the background).
She then curtly answered the phone and told me she had tons of homework to do(she never ever seemed to worry about her homework before seeing as this is her second attempt at senior year so I wasn't buying it. Hadn't I heard what her grandpa had said my alerts wouldn't have been raised at all.
Friday comes around and I try calling Jess repeatedly only nobody answers the phone. Suddenly I get a call on MY HOME PHONE(remember what I said earlier) from Matt asking if he could come get the bag I left. I didn't think how he got my home number then but suddenly had the impulse to call Jess again. Her grandpa answered and said "She's not here she's with that guy."
Aha! So Matt comes to get the bag and instead of seeing Jess I see no one in the car. Joey was spying through the side window and swore he saw her in the backseat plus she had to have been hiding in the backseat because Matt could only have gotten my home number from her since we are not listed. So worried as to why in the hell my best friend had to hide in a backseat from me I cried on Joey's shoulder and called Beth and cried.
I waited patiently for Kevin to get home and then Kevin called Matt and tried to find out what was going on. I expected Matt to definately say something to Kevin since I'd gone off on Matt earlier but everytime Kevin tried to talk about Jess Kevin changed the subject.
They must have though Kevin and I were stupid or something if they thought they could hide behind false excuses. You forgot Jess that Kevin is quite older than you and knows about your teen crap drama. So Kevin vowed to me he'd get some sort of answer from Matt the next day.
I went to sleep that night perplexed as ever. At 1 am I get a call from kevin and he reads me this(which he found in Jess's new online journal for she'd deleted the older one)http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/walkncntrdcti0n/ Here is the link.
It's pretty crummy when someone you've known almost all your life can't call you up on the phone or can't even email you but has to publicaly display this. I cried for two days over this and have come to this realization.
Despite the fond memories Jessica has grown into somebody I don't recognize. A coward, selfish, shallow, and blind to anybody but her self and anyone could please her. Instead of growing up she is growing down and I am trying to grow up. Take responsibility got my past and make something of myself. So if she wants to waste many years of valuable friendship over a guy who wont let her talk to her guy friend's out of jealousy and whom she's only known a week than fine. I do wish her the best of happiness. I don't have that need to see her in pain like I did with Josh. There is more hurt than anger. I hope she has a happy life but I refuse to let her back into it.
I've been hurt to much by her and others and I am a fool if I let mentally abusive people into my life. I'd rather be beaten with a cane than let her emotional do this to me ever again. So goodbye to my lifelong friend and may we both meet new and better ones along the way.
They say a season, a reason, and a lifetime. I was hoping Jess would fall into the lifetime category but instead I'm finding it to be the reason one. As for the exact reason I am not sure of yet but someday maybe I'll discover it.Current Mood:  tired |
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Sep. 17th, 2004 @ 01:00 pm
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The new journal is ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xemeraldcityx I figured it's friend's only so I can go ahead and let you guys know who the mysterious weirdo suddenly adding you was:) I just don't want a certain person who hurt me very badly to read it. I'll explain more later about what happened. |
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Sep. 17th, 2004 @ 02:00 am
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I'm getting rid of the garbage in my life so I will be getting a new journal. I'll add you guys to it. I am not releasing the name here.Current Mood:  crushed |
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Little girl with long blonde hair
red painted lips and skin so fair
high heeled shoes and frilly skirts
She idolizes movie stars
And dreams of beauty
For 5th grade show and tell
She brought in Cosmo girl
All her friends had their dolls
Teacher said "Who do you want to be?"
The little girl replied
"Somebody that doesn't look like me."
Going on 13 and pretty as a picture
Long blonde hair and a nice figure
All the boys would stop and stare
For Christmas she wanted
mini skirts and Mabeline
not unicorns and rainbow dreams
One glimpse in the mirror
and she hates her small breasts
Her hair is too limp
and her thighs an abomination
She despises the saggy chin
And wills away those lips so thin
If only she could have seen
What all those others saw
if only she could have been
The girl she was born to be
Instead of some Barbie imitation
in a plastic generation
Now she's 18 and saving up her money
To go to the doctor and get rid of her tummy
She's going to be the it girl
The beauty that everyone wants
She wants to be a star
On red Hollywood carpets
Knife cuts into flesh
And silicone is inserted
Her lips are split like paper
And her presence is being altered
Somebody should have told her
Anybody could have said
That is was ok to be yourself.
Now that it's all over
She looks likes all the stars
As the bruises heal
the mirror reflects an alien
She's lost her self respect
Instead of who she used to be
She's a poor imitation
of an uprising plastic generation |
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Hey everyone I'm back! About a week ago my motherboard crashed so I had to wait until I got paid to get a new one. Thanks to the super cute lucid42day I'm back online now. LJ and GJ are forever blocked at work and so is my email so I was going pretty crazy wondering how everyone was. So if I missed anything major let me know.
Not much is going on here. I am sick yet again and Jess is dating a 30 year old guy. But he looks young so I guess that counts for something. And Joey showed me more about computers so I have a vague idea of how they are built.
Oh and Amber's brother Ben got married to Emily. But I feel like crap and feel more like reading than anything else. So it's good to be back and hope nobody removed me.Current Mood:  sick |
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Aug. 28th, 2004 @ 02:57 am
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The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey
Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:
Opening song: Broken-Sevendust
Waking up: Return to Innocence-Enigma
First date: Big Pimpin-Jay-Z
First kiss: Run Away-Real McCoy
Falling in love: Hanging By A Moment-Lifehouse
Seeing an old love: You Make Me Sick-Pink
Heartbreak: Always-Saliva
Driving fast: Bodies-Drowning Pool
Getting ready to go out: Breakfast at Tiffanys-Deep Blue Something
Partying with friends: In Da Club-50 Cent
Dancing at a club: What is Love-Haddaway
Flirting: Always Be My Baby-Mariah Carey
Feeling sexy: Hot In Here-Nelly
Walking alone in the rain: Losing Grip-Avril Lavinge
Missing someone: One Sweet Day-Mariah Carey
Playing in the ocean: I would not play in the ocean so no answer for this one!
Summer vacation: Summertime-Will Smith
Fighting with someone: Everybody's Fool-Evanescence
Acting goofy with friends: Lady Marmalade-Xtina, Lil Kim, Pink, and Mia
Thinking back: Dreams-Van Halen
Feeling depressed: Damaged-Sevendust
Christmas time: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Falling asleep: Goodnight-Evanescence
Closing song: Fighter-Christina Aguilera
Take The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey
Get more cool things for your blog at Blogthings
Aug. 28th, 2004 @ 02:53 am
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This is one of the worst nights of my life. A centipede was in my bed. I have spent the past two hours trying to find it. I feel like I am going to pass out.
Jessica had a bad night too and Joey has had a bad day. Gah! Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. I do not want a centipede crawling on me in my sleep!
I am seriously afraid of centipedes. Not spiders just centipedes. *shudders*.
Aug. 28th, 2004 @ 01:53 am
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Now the only problem with it is I can't upload it because it is bigger than 60k can anyone help me with this?
Aug. 22nd, 2004 @ 03:18 am
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| » I made an icon! |
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Aug. 22nd, 2004 @ 03:04 am
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| » Not a good combo |
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I have worked almost two weeks straight without a day off. What does Marco's cheese bread, a stressful night at work, an alcoholic drink, popcorn, and the karioke machine messing up on me plus that piece of Snicker's cake add up too? A very sick Julie. Ohhhhhhhhhh.
Aug. 20th, 2004 @ 04:03 am
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| » I need a massage |
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My stress level had been pretty high the last few days and I'm worrying like a mofo. I had to work yesterday on my day off because Nathan didn't come in again. In fact he never called anyone and then lied to Brandi when she called him and said he'd told me he wouldn't be in on Sunday. Then yesterday Ben tried to call him and Nate hung up the phone when he heard Ben's voice. So he's fired and Ben hired a girl named Pootnam.
So i was worrying all weekend that Ben wouldn't hire someone right away and we'd all have to work a double. Thankfully he did. Now I'm worried about my cell phone bill.Now their telling me I owe them 140 instead of 70 dollars and I can't find out why because every time I try and talk to a rep they tell me I'm not Lindsey so I have to have Lindsey call them and transfer the phone into my name so I can find out why I owe a billion dollars. Alltel freakin sucks.
Plus I am having a hard time getting Joey's gift. Gah! STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aug. 16th, 2004 @ 08:22 pm
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| » Too many thoughts |
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I don't know what to think or feel right now and really only want to be around one person and thats Joe but I'm at work...again. Nate is sick and is going to call off tonight and I know Ben will call me and I am not going to answer my phone. I will be treating Joey out to a movie.
I'm running on two hours of sleep. I started this rougly about 7 and now it's almost 3. I'm going to crash. People suck. Nate wants to call off and Ben is thinking about firing him. Blah. I'm not working the shift. Movie. sleep.....good.
Aug. 14th, 2004 @ 07:23 am
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Please excuse the bad grammar and stuff but I have me a major headache. Oh their out of their rooms again. Go watch spongbob or something! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Go play Jerry Springer with your Barbie's but stop running through the freakin drive-thru and making it beep in my ears.
*head exploids*
Due to circumstances Julie Larimore is now dead from insanity please step aside while we fix the technical difficulties.
This makes me want to never ever have kids.
Aug. 13th, 2004 @ 08:11 pm
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You Know You're From Ohio When... |
You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.
You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You've heard of 3.2% beer.
Schools close for the state basketball tournament.
You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas
You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.
Down south to you means Kentucky.
You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ohio.
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Aug. 10th, 2004 @ 08:55 pm
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| » No more nights |
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Tonight is my last 3rd shift and I am sooooooooooooooooooo freakin happy! I just can't do it anymore it's draining the hell out of me. I am getting a cold and am so sleepy. I didn't get much sleep today because I went to chruch and finally saw Amber! We need to see each other more. We went shopping afterwards and Cory wasn't being such a big jerk as he was the last time we all hung out. We went to Petland and played with a puppy. I inquired about someone to teach me scissoring but the manager wasn't in. BVR's contract says if they run out of funding they don't have to finish me on the program the problem is I have to prove thats not why they won't let me finish and it's because of my ex teacher.:( I guess I wasn't meant to be a dog groomer. I am seriously thinking about going to The Nash Academy online and finishing up when I get the money.
I am still waiting in the mail for my FAFSA pin so I can see if I'm eligible for a grant or loan so I can go to school this fall or winter. Blah the whole schooling thing is so expensive. I really don't want to be at Days Inn until I'm 90.
I'm worried about Amber for the first time in a very long time we finally got a chance to talk without Cory hanging around and when she left she seemed so down. She really loves Cory and still doesn't understand why he broke up with her. Blah stupid Cory! The puppy at Petland cheered us up though. Yay puppy!
I miss Joey. Yes I know I live with him but I've been working a lot and the night shift makes me tired. Monday night I am playing games with him and shutting the cell phone off. I want to play games with Joey and nobody is going to stop me.
Kevin got Beth and I tickets to a wrestling thing tomorrow night for her birthday. I am not big on wrestling but Beth is excited about it but Jess is upset because kevin couldn't pay for her tocket. That is between those two though. I am paying Kevin back when I get paid. I hope I don't fall asleep. lol. So you better cheer loudly Beth to keep me awake.
I am feeling so blah right now. I feel sick to my stomach and just want to sleep but Brandi won't drag her butt in here until 8:30 so sleep is a long way off. We're sold out and I don't have much to do. I suppose I could finish my story but I don't feel up to it. I'm too tired to read
Gee thanks mom for calling and busting my spirits:( It's a LONG story and involves Oscosh Wisconsin and Christine and me wanting to go the next time the camporee was. Well it's too late now. I'm going to go draw or something and wait for sanity to come back.
Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 02:54 am
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| » Gurgle glop glop |
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I hate subject lines I never know what to say. So heres what happened today.
I slept a whole lot because I wasn't feeling good. I think I have a cold coming on. I got to work and found out Roxanne confronted Brandy about calling her a bitch behind her back and Ben goes and sides with Brandy. Then Brandy parks by some trees and tries to stalk Roxanne. So Rox made a list of STD'S for Brandy. I had gotten a going away card for Rox and Brandy couldn't even sign it! So world war 3 is on and I so hope Brandy gets her butt kicked.
Aug. 7th, 2004 @ 01:56 am
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| » Sorry but..... |
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I had to do a big friend's cut because I'm working so much. I took of people I never talked to or people who never updated. The new people stayed because thats only fair. I didn't want to offend anyone but its only fair to you guys.
Aug. 4th, 2004 @ 01:13 am
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| » zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
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I haven't updated and I haven't commented in awhile since Ben went on vacation and the rest of us have to work extra this week. I'm so freakin tired right now it's unreal. Soon as I get off work I'm hitting the hay.
Jul. 28th, 2004 @ 10:33 am
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| » Help!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Ok did I do the right thing? What would you do all advice is appreciated.
Brandi told me not to give out the 44.95 coupon rate. It's an additional ten dollars on Friday and Saturday. Well after midnight people started complaining about that because it was Sunday. I even had one couple go out into the parking lot and wait an hour to check-in so they could get it twen dollars cheaper. And technically it is Sunday now. So I just gave in.
And then this oen woman complaine about the wait and wanted a discount. She was already getting the coupon rate and I can't go below that. I was on the phone to the police and explained this to her but she was so mad. In all the confusion I forgot to get her CC. Just as I was about to call her toom to ask her to pay in the morning or bring the card up she comes up to the desk with her blanket and there is poop all over it. I tell her if she goes and gets the CC I'd give her a discount. It's been 30 minutes and I haven't seen any sign of her. I've tried calling her room and it's busy. So she's probably calling the 1-800 line and filing a complaint on me. I'm afraid to walk to her room because she is scaring me. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BEN IS GOING TO FIRE ME. I am going to have a panic attack I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Jul. 25th, 2004 @ 01:42 am
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